yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize