Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
