i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
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