The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
my vag is so smooth its legendary
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
