I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
