But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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