Plan B is the new Plan A
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Boobs are out for the taking
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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