Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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