Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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