i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize