i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize