So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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