I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
