shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
