Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
