At least make sure they are 18
Why
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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