Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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