when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I could make wine with my vomit
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
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