school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize