Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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