Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
