happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Randomize
