then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Floor bacon is actually really good
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
