ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Do you have feelings for this penis?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
