i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
