I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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