In the future we'll all be gay
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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