I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize