Can i not drive my cunt home
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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