Sry I called you an 8
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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