and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
you're hired as official boob wrangler
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
