And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
