I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
