So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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