this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize