Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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