I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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