We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize