I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Randomize
