I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize