well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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