i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
