I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
