I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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