I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize