Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(941): View more from Florida

sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that

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(279): View more from

Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?

(574): View more from Indiana

You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you

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(732): View more from New Jersey

How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar

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(562): View more from California

The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.

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(937): View more from Ohio

The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.

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(909): View more from California

I got laid two nights in a row

(508): View more from Massachusetts

And none for Gretchen Wieners...

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(516): View more from New York

I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.

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(812): View more from Indiana

May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?

(1-812): View more from Indiana

Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!

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