What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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