Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
