i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
My ass is underappreciated
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
