he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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