thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
