Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
