R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
