He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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