D3 body, D1 cock
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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