Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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