Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I just forgot I was standing up.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize