Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
It's just like the Real World with babies
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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