therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
