i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
