Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
