No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Randomize
