ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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