You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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