Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
