I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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